What They Don’t Tell You About Being a People-Pleaser

authenticity blog influence leadership mandy b. anderson personal growth personal leadership rayma foundations Mar 17, 2023


I never saw myself as a People-Pleaser…

I had determination and strong opinions about how to do things. And I went after my dreams no matter what. But when I read the definition of a people-pleaser from WebMD, I saw it.

WeMD describes a people-pleaser this way:

“People-pleasers tend to do anything possible to avoid conflict, even if it means turning into an entirely different person. Your worth depends on how others see you. People-pleasers need validation from others to feel good about themselves. They can go to extremes to earn words of praise from others.”

I’ve always been a chameleon - able to match the style of the person I admired. And I hated it when I didn’t get other people’s approval. Not everyone’s approval - just the ones I craved significance from most. I didn’t mind being the teacher’s pet in my favorite classes. And I often thought the people I love most were mad at me and I didn’t know why. (When I’m overly tired, this pattern can still pop up for sure!)

Because I didn’t want to please EVERYONE, I thought I didn’t struggle with this.


But I did.

It’s been a long journey to find my most authentic self. I had to learn to lead with authenticity instead of doubt and uncertainty. To understand my patterns and give myself grace to figure out WHY that pattern popped up so I could handle it with wisdom instead of spiraling into more doubt. I discovered my values and have become 100% certain about the value I bring to others. I’ve finally learned how to let go of that people-pleasing tendency that kept people from knowing the real me. I’m much happier, and a better leader, when I walk in the leadership foundation of being authentic!


What I’ve learned about stepping into the shoes of an authentic leader is this:

  • Leaders that struggle with People-Pleasing lack the leadership foundation of AUTHENTICITY.
  • Every time you find yourself hiding behind the label of People-Pleaser, doubt and uncertainty are the root causes.
  • When you’re a People-Pleasing Leader, you can be easily manipulated, especially when doubt and uncertainty take over!
  • You won’t be able to make decisions or trust your intuition without the leadership foundation of AUTHENTICITY.

Here’s the GOOD NEWS: When you are an AUTHENTIC leader, people will follow you because they know they can trust you.

When you are an AUTHENTIC leader, you  know who you are and live out of your passions and purpose, even when others misunderstand you.


That’s the leadership foundation you need to build when you are stuck in the pattern of being a People-Pleaser.

You owe it to yourself, and the people you lead, to let the real you shine through. No more hiding in the weeds of people-pleasing, doubt, and uncertainty.

If this resonates with you on any level, let’s work together to help you meet your most authentic self, too.

Everything Coach Raychel and I have learned about leading authentically is inside the AUTHENTIC Leadership Program. It’s the perfect solution for the leader that wants to find their authentic self but would rather work on it in a more introverted way. (It’s also available as an add-on with our Private Coaching Packages and is already included in the Executive Coaching Package if you prefer to work with myself or Coach Raychel.)

Inside each episode, you’ll learn how to apply the seven leadership principles of stepping into the shoes of an AUTHENTIC Leader.

And the very best thing about AUTHENTIC Leaders is that they inspire their team to be authentic, too.

If you’re ready to stop being a People-Pleaser, then take action today to step into the shoes of an AUTHENTIC Leader. This is the program that will get you started on a solid foundation.

Get it today at https://www.raymateam.com/offers/cFKVi4a8/checkout (Payment Plans available for the budget-conscious leader.)

~Coach Mandy 💙

P.S. If you want to go through this program in-person, with a group of growth-minded leaders, click here to see when the next one is happening and grab your spot!

(Click here to learn more about Coach Mandy)